Monday, 14 March 2016

Notes on November

A few days ago, I had someone enquire about my blog. I haven't felt very motivated at all since being on beta blockers, they really slow me down, however I decided it's time to shake off dull sloth and joyful rise, to quote from a well known hymn, and deliver the goods.
We started November with  a visit to Coombe Hill. This has become a bit of an annual trip for us. Although we have previously been on Oct 31st. The day started misty, and we drove over to the garden centre at World's End and had lunch, and had a good look around, not buying much. They had their potted Christmas trees in, but I decided it was a bit too early to buy one.
The mist had lifted whilst we were in the garden centre, so we drove up to Coombe Hill, parked and began our walk. It was quite a contrast from the previous year, and we found that nature had been decorating for us. However when we reached the monument, we looked around; Aylesbury could not be seen, nor the clump of trees, which I nicknamed an Entmoot, and Chequers was completely cloaked.

long shadows and rolling mist

No view here
Even as we stood there trying to spot familiar landmarks, we could see the strange, smoke like wisps beginning to curl and coil around the hillside. It was coming back. We decided to go back to the car, but husband took a different route, it was a bit eerie, wondering how soon we would be engulfed, but all was well, we reunited at the car, and by the time we drove into the valley, we needed lights on the car.
At the beginning of the month, I had my first CBT session, I had received a reading list and bought a couple of books on anxiety, so was beginning to get clued up. The appointment was in St Albans, and I drove there somewhat apprehensively. I managed to miss the turning for our usual car park, and so decided to head for the one near where our Daughter works. I suddenly spotted one at the side of the road, and being too late to use auto park, I began manouevering into the space, only to have a woman banging on my window yelling at me. She said I was touching her car. I backed up, and got out, and she was gesticulating, shouting and attempting to photograph my number plate. I calmly pointed out that there was no damage to her car, and she said 'We'll see what the garage has to say about that' I also said that there was no damage to my car, and she pointed out the tiniest speck of white that was nowhere near the point of impact. That speck brushed off later. I explained that I was in  a hurry but gave her my name address and telephone number, and she left me alone. I realised I needed to pay, and dashed back to the machine. Then I hurried off to find the building with the blue door off the main street. A helpful young man accompanied me, when I asked him whether I was heading the right way through a short cut.
I made it on time, but because of that incident, felt very close to tears. The counsellor came in, introduced herself, then I had to tell my story of the incidents with the hospital last summer, which had left me so anxious. I had to answer a lot of questions on a sheet to give an idea how anxious I was, then she said she wasn't sure whether she could treat me as I was a 'medical anxiety case'. She was going on holiday,and would consult her boss and let me know.
I left, and wandered over to Smiths, the newsagents. I had bought a colouring book and some coloured pencils, and I wanted a new pencil sharpener, I needed a new calculator, and some Pritt sticks, so I spent some time browsing, so much so that when a lady came up the stairs and bemoaned the lack of staff up there, I was able to direct her to the stuff on making a lasting power of attorney, which is something I have been meaning to do, especially since the young medics had been terrifying me with threats of strokes at the hospital, my own GP was more circumspect. Thankfully I never did hear from the woman whose car I nudged, so whether she ever consulted the garage I will never know.
Women's hour had their usual Christian bookstall. I arrived at about lunchtime, found some books for the children as Christmas gifts, more Christmas cards, a couple of odds and ends for Mum in Law's stocking, and a Christian adult colouring book for me. They managed to find me some decaff coffee, I had taken a jar of Nestle's Alta Rica, but it has been discontinued.  I did consider staling it back. At one point we had about 4 different jars of decaff in our kitchen as I tried to find a decent replacement, most decaff tastes like stewed cardboard.

Colouring book
In the second week of November, we visited Mum in law. We had our usual trip into Eastbourne, but she gets tired quickly, lunch was in C&H, and I bought wool and a pattern for baby jackets. The next day we went int Bexhill, had lunch there and Mum in law astounded us by asking for a sausage panini, She ate half, and they gave her a doggy bag for the rest. I picked up more cards at the Christian bookstall.
The next day, whilst wandering round some shops in the village, I discovered a little wool shop,and bought wool for a second jacket.
That month we managed one bike ride I think, but it began to rain so we had to head back. The weather was so mild that our heating didn't properly come on for ages. One day, we looked after Lydia as her Mum had to go in early for a meeting, and Lydia was too poorly for nursery, however it was just a few hours. I had notification of a meeting with a new counsellor, which fortunately was in our town. It was short notice, but I went, and wondered why they are renting rooms for counselling in huge building, when there are lots of rooms available in our boarded up hospital. Nature is beginning to take over in parts, no wonder the NHS is practically bankrupt when they expand hospitals then close them. I went through all the same procedure, she talked about various things then said 'Same tine next week?' Only the next week I was there and she wasn't, and no one had a clue where she was, very strange. We also fitted in a visit to our local garden centre that month, though I can't remember why.
November sunset